Christmas has never been so hard to approach as it has been this year.
I thought last year was hard with being home early from my mission, and other things that happened as well. But it has increased with difficulty this year.
I've seen many of my friends lose their parents, both friends and family lose precious babies, and this year, both mine and Logan's grandpas are all up in heaven.
Whilst I don't want to create a dark and dreary aura right before Christmas, it is important to remember why we celebrate what we do, and that just because it's a holiday, it doesn't mean that no one's sad. Christ came into the world so he could take on our pains and sadness. But some people take that as we can just get rid of our pain as soon as we get it. That's not the case, we have to experience the pain before we can get to or truly appreciate the light.
So many people who are depressed or in grief are berated with statements of "choose happiness", "just get over it ", "there are worse things in the world", and "smile, you'll feel better." To people without depression or aren't currently grieving, these statements may seem harmless, but to those going through this sad period in their lives those phrases can be hurtful and frustrating.
So many people who are depressed or in grief are berated with statements of "choose happiness", "just get over it ", "there are worse things in the world", and "smile, you'll feel better." To people without depression or aren't currently grieving, these statements may seem harmless, but to those going through this sad period in their lives those phrases can be hurtful and frustrating.
Instead, try statements such as, "I love you, and I'm here for you", "I may not be there all the time, but leave me a message if you need someone to talk to and I'll get back to it when I can", "I can't understand how you're feeling, but please know that I care", or sometimes a hug can be more helpful than anything you can say.
If these don't work, take a step back and try again later, they may not be in a state of mind to accept your help right now, but knowing someone's there and notices their pain can be helpful.
I hope this helps some of you who are helping someone who may be depressed or grieving know what to do/say. Everyone's situation is different, but I've been on both sides of these stages of life and I know what would help me.
While you may not feel great right now, know that if any of you reading this need someone to talk to, I'm here. If I'm unavailable, talk to God. He should technically be the first line of comfort, but sometimes He uses people to help, and I want to be that for others. Just pour out your feelings to someone, there are people who care about you and want to help.
I love you, and I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
One of my favorite quotes is,
"If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you've forgotten that you are one." ~Unknown
Links that can further help
To know more phrases you should/shouldn't say to a depressed person:
A place where you can type your thoughts and something wonderful happens, just try it!
For some helpful quotes for those with depression:
Here's a song that I find comforting in hard times:
And last but certainly not least, here's a Christmas video to give you some hope:
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